I seem to inadvertently gotten myself into a mess with friends that sort of made me blow my top. Not that I regret blowing my top, because sometimes you need that to clear the air. And there was a big need for air clearing. I just wish that sometimes it didn't have to get to the point where you want to throttle your friends because everyone is being stupid.
Not that I don't have my supremely stupid moments, mind you, I really, really do.
I don't understand human nature sometimes. Why is it that we would rather sit and grow resentful of one another, rather than talk it out? I do it all the time, Patric can beat the drum of my own hypocricy here. And I try to understand it in myself and others. Why is it that we hate doing it? Is it fear of recrimination, is it fear of losing everything, is it fear that we may be wrong? I don't know.
I had an incident at work I had to help mediate last week that was one of these type of situations, one person felt that their superior/s was acting badly, and of course that's my job, to help mediate. Still, a part of me is shocked that we as human beings have such painful issues that we can't ever talk about.
The most painful moments of my life center on the fact that no one was talking to anyone else. People began to resent, even hate each other, for no other reason than they let if all fester and never, ever resolved it. Marriages were ended, families torn apart, and friendships that were as close as siblings ended overnight because of whispering and deciet, as no one would speak up.
I'm not advocating warm fuzzies here, no touchy, happy 'friendship circles' in the words of Payton Manning. But damn it, who is the small guy I get to tape to the goal post! I just wish for once that it wouldn't get so f-ing ugle with friends. And maybe, just maybe I'll listen to my own goddamn advice once in a while, i'm sure Patric and Randy would enjoy it.