Beshter (beshter) wrote,
Beshter
beshter

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Dilemma...

OK, it's not a real dilemma, but it's a nag is what it is.

My college roomie, Faith, had been my best friend all through my years at Jewell. Despite the fact she annoyed the piss out of a lot of people, (who all love her husband), I stood up for her because, that is what I do. She was my friend, and I loved her, and I guess I still do.

We stopped talking really after her first child. I guess it happens when kids come into the scene, but there was a lot of hurt feelings on my part, and I admit, I didn't confront them. I felt that if she really wanted me to be a part of her life she wouldn't poo-poo me or ignore me. Perhaps that was wrong in my belief. I've nursed this wounded feeling for a long time, helped along by the irritation she engenders in the rest of our group of friends. I guess I got tired of sticking up for someone who didn't seem to care about my existance. I was wrong in this, sure, but there you go.

So this has been years now. She hasn't really been involved in my life, like Caron and Gita have, and to a much lesser extent Mel, and hell, even Kari, the least sociable of the bunch. At least I know Kari likes seeing me, I can't always be sure with Faith. Anyway, so I was discussing with Bridget (aka: Gita), whether or not to send Faith an announcement. After all, I'd like her and Josh to know, but I feel so out of the loop with their lives, I wonder if they would care. The thing is I know how people in this bunch get their noses out of joint over such things. We send graduation and wedding invitations to EVERYONE, hell we are nearly ten years out of college, and we still go to everyones weddings and send announcements of everyones kids. So it's the right thing for me to do to include them too.

Why do I feel so petty about it?

This is in light of my pettiness rant against Linda, and I think that stuck it up really. It donned on me I should send her one, and that I don't even have her addie in Nebraska anymore. I know they live somewhere in the middle of the state, but that's it. I'm sure someone has it, more than likely Kari, and I can ask, and I will be polite and send one. I know she'll be thrilled. But I still feel like if she cared so much, why wasn't she the one who was listening to me bitch and moan about papers, like you guys, or Patric, or Caron and Bridget? Hell, Gita is flying out for my damn graduation, and Caron would if she wasn't doing that, "I'm getting hitched" thing.

I know I'm holding on to a grudge I need to let go of, and I shall be the bigger person.

Glad to know we can still be young and have teenage angst once in a while. LOL
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