September 12th, 2007


Working Late...

Boss wants a meeting with me on hiring at six, so it's late here for me. Fuzzerbutt. Means I won't get home till late, and I was considering biking tonight. I haven't done it in forever, and I'm trying to be very strict with myself and make myself do it.


And Umlaut's check engine light came back on today for no reason at all. I swear, that car will drive me to distraction. *sigh*
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Poopy, poopy day....

Today is a poopy day.

I seem to inadvertently gotten myself into a mess with friends that sort of made me blow my top. Not that I regret blowing my top, because sometimes you need that to clear the air. And there was a big need for air clearing. I just wish that sometimes it didn't have to get to the point where you want to throttle your friends because everyone is being stupid.

Not that I don't have my supremely stupid moments, mind you, I really, really do.

I don't understand human nature sometimes. Why is it that we would rather sit and grow resentful of one another, rather than talk it out? I do it all the time, Patric can beat the drum of my own hypocricy here. And I try to understand it in myself and others. Why is it that we hate doing it? Is it fear of recrimination, is it fear of losing everything, is it fear that we may be wrong? I don't know.

I had an incident at work I had to help mediate last week that was one of these type of situations, one person felt that their superior/s was acting badly, and of course that's my job, to help mediate. Still, a part of me is shocked that we as human beings have such painful issues that we can't ever talk about.

The most painful moments of my life center on the fact that no one was talking to anyone else. People began to resent, even hate each other, for no other reason than they let if all fester and never, ever resolved it. Marriages were ended, families torn apart, and friendships that were as close as siblings ended overnight because of whispering and deciet, as no one would speak up.

I'm not advocating warm fuzzies here, no touchy, happy 'friendship circles' in the words of Payton Manning. But damn it, who is the small guy I get to tape to the goal post! I just wish for once that it wouldn't get so f-ing ugle with friends. And maybe, just maybe I'll listen to my own goddamn advice once in a while, i'm sure Patric and Randy would enjoy it.
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My fall textbooks?

I got an email from UCLA bookstore saying "Your fall textbooks are here!"

Funny, I'm not registered for fall...mostly as I graduated. Guess they missed that part. Wonder when you get taken off the email list.

I guess it depends on if you are a creepy 'student' faking out the UCLA officials...ack. I've been keeping up on that in Ed's journal, I'm waiting for it to break in local news, LOL.

In any case, sorry to Caron-bean and Gita-bean for sticking my nose where it didn't belong and getting tempers up. Gita in particular, I didn't mean to make so upset, but just as she has a temper, I do to. And it tends to be a bull rush sort of thing, and I run people over with it, and don't mean to hurt feelings, so there. Please forgive. But, it works really effectively on male egos! Randy's yet to haul off and hit me, though I've seen the look in his eye on an occasion or two. Course, I would have tried to smack the shit out of him, but he's wily, and I might end up knocked out cold yet again, (for that, ask about one ill-fated incident at Patric's birthday party one year).

It's hard being a friend in the middle sometimes, and sometimes you just lose your temper.

Hopefully though, things are looking up...

IN the meantime, I have an upset tummy from tension and bad food, and I had a sudden plot idea for a cheesy fanfic pop into my head. I'll hash this one out....
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