October 28th, 2004


Sick at home...

Oh, my tummy.

I have a sad, sinking feeling I'm developing ulcers. Being that my grandmother had them so badily her entire life she had to have part of her stomach removed a few years back. So it's not impossible. And heaven knows that I don't handle stress well.

So I'm sitting at home, watching ESPN, where they are discussing ancient 'little people' and evolution, and trying to get up the energy to read about the Russian government post communism. I think I'll save that for tonight after choir practice.

Lord, I can't wait till Caron bean is here, because lord I need a vacation. Fun, fun, fun. I need some fun, haven't had any in a while. Huzzah!

Patric is a sad today, I feel bad I can't cheer him up. But I know how he feels, it's lonely of late, and sometimes you just want...something. I understand, really I do. You want something grand to happen, something interesting, but you don't know what.

Must go to Party City and get a tiara for my work costume tomorrow before I go to fencing. This will be fun, I rarelly ever dress up, so this will be fun. Pretty, Pretty Princess Jenn, mwahahaha.

Must figure out how to pin all my hair up.

Good lord, I hope no ones
  • Current Music
    Christmas music...

Having fun getting your ass beat...

I got my ass beat in fencing tonight, but it was fun. I got to whip up on folk! Problem is I kept hitting the arm and not the shoulder, because they were all sneaky, thus I didn't get the points. Must work on that. But got lots of compliments on the swiftness and aggressivness.

Fear me with my sword! Not...

And I got to sing tonight too. Lot's of good music, and I love being the lone first soprano in the choir. Mwahahahaha.

All in all, it made my tummy better and I feel better too.

And I got my tiara, I'm staring at it over at the TV, where it's sitting. It's supposed to be a child tiara, but fit so well I got it anyway. Tee hee.

Anyway, so I filled out the EHarmony survey on a whim, got two hits already. Sent them to Patric to see what he thought o'the matter. People might find this bizzare, but I strangely don't. Seems to make perfect sense to me,after all don't other people discuss social lives with friends? Not that we don't havea strange friendship to begin with, but I don't know, I need SOMEONE to talk to about this, and he's the sad person who gets the duty.

He suggested I not mention the last time I had a date. I think the Backstreet Boys were still popular then. *grin*

It's funny, I've often wondered why it was that I didn't try harder to find someone else for so long. Many reasons, really, most of them my neurosis I outlined in a previous post. But I don't think I was ready for it either. Let's face it, I went through some really WEIRD stuff all at the same time my parents up and decide that they wanted to call a twenty year marriage quits in a huge way, I wasn't high on the relationship hog there for a long, long time. I figuered that it was probably best this way, I had so many things I wanted to do, and if it was meant to be, it would work out.

It's been a long time of it not working out. But then...admittedly, there were lots of distraction that made me sort of fall into a complacency about it all too.

I think my biggest question now is...can I do this? I don't know, it's not like moving oneself to California or going to college on grit and determination, it's relating to other people, something I know I don't do well.

It's funny how I don't associate with people in real life at all well. But once you get me on email, we have a grand relationship. *grin* Oh hell.....this will NEVER work.

To be honest, the big reason I'm doing it is because I have no more excuses. I can't say, "Oh, school", "Oh, my gaming", "Oh, I'm just not ready", "Oh, I'm too young". No more excuses. Either I do it or shut up and accept being a cat lady forever.

Besides, I think Patric will throttle me otherwise. He's getting that crazy look in his eye. LOL

So...now for $50. We shall see what comes of this. Don't see how Patric thinks that this is at all fun, frankly this kind of thing makes me almost as nervous as performance based tests. Why can't I just have a FRIEND fall for me like in all those stupid movies.

Wait...who are my friends again. Oh hell, never mind.

THis so isn't going to work.
  • Current Music
    Broadway musicals...