August 26th, 2003


I don't know why we find it so amusing...

I think it's just the gamer dorks I hang out with. Are we the only, overly-analytical bunch out there? Why is it we get so much amusement out of picking through our games like it was some great, machiavellian, Bene Gesserit plot? I have no idea.

Randy and I were on the bus the other evening, heading home late, and we started discussing the game we are playing in. We only have time for one game, thank goodness, not like the old days when we played a Camarilla game AND a Sabbat game, sometimes a multi-genre, and we had characters working against other characters, (boy was that confusing). So anyway, we are discussing his character, my character, what we should do, how we should thwart this person or that person, it was all rather silly.

Someone on the bus, a strange guy with all sorts of 'crystal up the butt' paraphenalia on him heard us and asked us if someone wasn't over-analyzing something, in a joking manner. I figured by the pentagram on his shirt, he had heard me saying something about 'the Tremere' and was a gamer dork wanting to share his gamer dorky experiences. No, he wanted to discuss the plethora of psychotic friends he's had over the years, and their experiences ranging from nearly missing their heart while trying to shoot themself to another going into the mountains and believing he was being chased by space zombies. OK, I didn't say that the man was sane, but still, I was amused. He thought we were over-analytical, a sign of intellegence or something. I don't think I was ever accused of being overly intellegent. Smart perhaps, but not anything spectacular. I doubt I will have a psychotic episode from my scrutinizing the plans of Clan Tremere in our game....well, I just might, I suppose I can't make that claim quantifiably.

In any case, it's a habit I've noticed from the old SLAFC/SLAPK days, we'd all sit around and geek off on our thoughts on what the latest escapades of the elders were, who was going to do something stupid, what the Tremere/Lasombra were planning to do this time to muck up everything, and what new wacky schemes the neonates were going to do in order to impress Elder A who was going to either pat them on the head and bind the stupid neonate to them, or kill them just out of a fit of pique. We'd do it for fun mostly, but it was intersting to listen to as you got to hear how other players minds worked especially on situations, regarding clans, interpretations of the game. It was always enlightening really, but more than a bit disturbing. After all, imagine sitting on a bus and discussing why it is the Prince thought it neccessary to rip this guys head off in front of a whole group of horrified courtiers in the middle of Elysium. People tend to look at you funny when you discuss that.

Are gamer dorks overly-analytical? I don't know. I've discovered that many of us are actually extremely intellegent young people who use gaming as an outlet for that intellegent, creative spark. There is a reason that jocks are very rarely found playing D&D, the ones i found that did were the kids who could actually read. Perhaps the intellegent nature of most of these people breeds the analytical side that likes to poke and prod at why things are they way they are. Sometimes they come into the culture with it, sometimes they develop it from the nature of the course. I think I just developed it, I don't recall having an overtly analytical nature till I started gaming. Perhaps it's only in the more political natured games, the ones that breed the sort of court poltics Louis XIV would have been envious of. I don't see that same sort of nitpickiness in games that are more hack-n-slash, the high adventure games. But then, I don't like those games overly much anyway.

LARPers are the worst I think. Given that it's usually a larger scale game, at least ten people or more, with all characters being played by actual people with actual motivations, rather than the flat, NPC, Storyteller characters that populate the worls of TT games, we tend to like to get together and gush about what we did, what we think, and what we will plan next. We sit up late nights at Denny's discussing the events of the night with such abandon, as if these imaginary people were actually real, that they really had thoughts, minds, and existence in anything buy our collective imagination. Perhaps that's why we get so excited about it. Silly, gamer dorks.

Just too funny.

Well, Randy, we are apparantly on the road to psychosis according to this fellow on the bus, because we nitpick at an imaginary world that has no more substance than anything we read or watch on TV. How funny. Oh well, it wasn't like I wasn't headed down the looney trail to being with.
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The glut of female fluff....

So I'm reading an article on CNN about the glut of female novels being turned into big screen movies. Most of these novels follow a familiar and simple theme: young, pretty, single working girl lives in some huge, glamours city where she's engaged in marketing, advertising, fashion, media, some sort of dorky but glitzy business. There, she gets paid enough money to live in cute and fashionable apartment, where she whiles away her nights bemoaning the fact that there is no rich, handsome, attractive lunk to whisk her away, until she meets this object of her potential affections, and woos her to him with pretty eyes and her sexy intellegence. So thanks to her wit and her sense of humor, she catches the charming, but none to bright, young man, they kiss passionatly, and it all ends happily ever after. The book is optioned as a movie, where every woman with a hint of ovaries and estrogen is expected to drag boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other/drinking buddy with them to spend ten dollars on some piece of fluff that makes them weepy eyed and wishing they could live some lifestyle of some woman who doesn't even exist, save on a piece of celluloid running through a projector.

Sorry if I don't feel that Hollywood markets to me that often.

While I look forward to such movies as "The Order", "Underworld", and "Return of the King", others I know are looking forward to the plethora of date friendly, chick flicks coming out. Ever since "Bridget Jones's Diaries", (which I did love, but because of my secret and abiding love of Colin Firth), these silly movies about women I couldn't even begin relating to have come out, asking me to spend my hard earned money on watching rail thin, single women with impossible lives chasing after men because all the glitz and glamour of their life can't be fufilling without decorating it with a man. Gag! Personally, the whole "Sex in the City" concept for the modern woman confuses me. WHy in the world am I supposed to relate to these women? Just because we happen to share the common genetic marker of uteruses? Just because I have cramps every month doesn't mean I'm going to be able to relate to whiling away my days, drinking frappes and criticing someones Gucci handbag all afternoon while discussing why I'm not sexually satisfied by my partner. Really, that's just not my life. It isn't the life of most of the women I know.

Perhaps it's because that's the life they would LIKE to live that it's so popular. Why, I wouldn't know. Personally, that kind of life is a little manic to me. It's sort of like being the popular kid in high school, wearing the right clothes, joining the right clubs, trying to entice male A into dating you with some subtle teasing and the warmness of your all-American girl charm. Aren't we a bit old for such sophmoric ideals of how love, relationships, and romance work? After all, it never happens like it does in the movies.

Perhaps what annoys me is that this marketing seems to be trying to tell me that this is something I should relate to, this is the life I should aspire to, because without it I am a worthless piece of shit. Well, outside of the fact that I feel that way already without clever movie marketing schemes, the fact that they try to tell me that REAL women in the grown up world have to act this way and simper this way to get what they want is a bit insulting. After all, why is it that they portray women as having all these cool and fufilling things, but they need a rich boyfriend to compliment it all, like he's a new pair of earrings, or perhaps a scarf.

Gag. And you wonder why I'm still single.

Even worse are those movies that try to get to the heart of the sisterhood of women. Outside "The Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood", which was good because of it's cast, I hate these movies almost as much as I hate cheesy romances. I dislike the attempts of novels and Hollywood to quantify the relationships between females as being a 'woman' thing, bound by some sort of understanding that forms around men, children, and apple pie. After all, I have had female friends before, and the fact that none of those factors were involved in that friendship obviously means that there are more to these things than what we are told. And almost all these movies portray women as harping, cat-like, vivious banshees as far as men are concerned, we get into a room together, and suddenly men are the devil, and we proceed to tear them to shreds. While I won't deny there is a certain aspect of that which occures, usually when one woman is agitated at the male friend/boyfriend/husband/lover, and needs to vent, the fact that every female friend movie has some element of this in it, as if it's a pre-requisite for joining the sorority of women? As if women don't get a bad enough rep from the silly romances that keep being put out on the screen.


Perhaps I dislike these movies most because they aren't something I can relate to. I've grown out of my passionate love of cheesy romances, I read it on occasion, but it's usually when I'm truly depressed. I just can't click with those things anymore, I don't live this sexy, cool single life with a clique of friends who all live similar lives. That's just not who I am, and the fact that I'm told this is the way I'm supposed to be annoys me on a fundemental level. Why do I have to be that way to be happy in life? Can't I be happy in the life I have now?

Obviously not, as my prospects aren't looking good.

Still, I hate this idea that woman can relate to this fluffy, pink colored version of what it is to be a modern woman. No modern woman I know fits any of the descriptions they put forth on the screen. So why then do we insist on promoting it?

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    Random country music...

I had to post this, for my Missouri roots....

Paying homage to all my gang back in Mis-sou-ree, (as Northern Missourians say), only you guys would EVER get the jokes behind these. And almost all of it is true.

Growing up in Missouri

1. You've never met any celebrities.
2. Everyone you know has been on a "Float Trip".
3. "Vacation" means driving to Silver Dollar City, Worlds of Fun or Six Flags.
4. You've seen all the biggest bands ten years AFTER they were popular.
5. You measure distance in minutes rather than miles. For example,"Well, Webb City's only 20 minutes away."
6. Down south to you means Arkansas.
7. The phrase "I'm going to the Lake this weekend" only means one thing.
8. You know several people who have hit a deer.
9. You think Missouri is spelled with an "ah" at the end.
10.Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
11.You know what "Party Cove" is.
12.Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
13.You instinctively ask someone you've just met, "What High
School did you go to?"
14.You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
15.You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better." 16.You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
17.You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
18.You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
19.You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat Nebraska in
20.You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example:"Where's my coat at?"
21.All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,vegetable, or grain.
22.You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
23.You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
24.You carry jumper cables in your car and know that everyone else should.
25.You went to skating parties as a kid.
26.You only own three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup. 27.You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
28.You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
29.The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page, but requires six pages for sports.
30.You think I-44 is spelled and pronounced "farty-far." (St. Louis only.)
31.You'll pay for your kids to go to college unless they want to go to KU.
32.You think that "deer season" is a National Holiday. 33.You know that Concordia is halfway between Kansas City and Columbia, and Columbia is halfway between St. Louis and Kansas City, and the Warrenton Outlet Mall is halfway between Columbia and St. Louis.
34.You can't think of anything better than sitting on the porch in the middle of the summer during a thunderstorm.
35.You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
36.You've said, "It's not the heat, it's the humidity." 37.You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Football.
38.You know if another Missourian is from the Boot-heel, Ozarks, Eastern, Middle or Western Missouri soon as they open their mouth.
39.You know that Harry S. Truman, Walt Disney and Mark Twain are all from Missouri.
40.You failed World Geography in school because you thought Cuba, Versailles, California, Nevada, Houston, Milan (Beshter's home town), Cabool, Louisiana, Springfield,
and Mexico were cities in Missouri. (As well as Memphis, Laredo, Princeton, Cairo, Paris, the list goes on, and on, and on....)
41.You think a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor. (which sucks if you have to pee)
42.You know what "HOME OF THE THROWED ROLL" means.
43.You actually get this and forward it to all your Missouri friends.
  • Current Music
    The Beverly Hillbillies, for obvious reasons.