August 18th, 2003



I shouldn't be annoyed with this person, but damn it, I am.

I had asked this person LAST WEEKEND if they wanted to hang out. They are always telling me they want to, we make plans to do it, I've even heard them complain about not having that many friends. Since I knew I was going to be in Pasadena on Saturday, I said we should get together. I called the day before, no response. No biggie. I got up the next day, did my errands, called, went straight to voicemail. I called again several times on the course of the afternoon. Frustrated, I went home afterwards nettled that this person has once again flaked me off. This is the third time now, and I don't know why. It's most agitating and more than a little hurtful.

I'm trying to be understanding. Perhaps this person's family needed her, they often do at unexpected times, and this meant she was away from phone contact. Perhaps this person was with their signifigant other and just forgot that I had mentioned hanging out, and thus didn't have their phone on. I think I would at least merit a phone call apology for that. Perhaps this person was deathly ill, and I'm just being and angry bitch for no reason, aren't I evil. But you would figure I would have heard something by now.

This person didn't even call to give me an explanation. How rude is that?

And I know, when I see this person next they will cover me with apologies, and not wanting to make it a bigger issue than it is, I'll aquiesce and nod my head, and say, "That's ok.", and sigh dissappointedly, because everyone is afraid of being to blunt with this person for whatever reason, and I bite my tongue cause I think it's for the best. *sigh* I'm agitated.

I really would like to be better friends with this person, but I feel every overture I've ever made to them has been rebuffed for no good reason. They are nice, they do nice things for me, but it's this one line they refuse to cross, and for heaven's sake I don't know why. I want to be their friend too, but they make it so hard, that I've about give up trying. Why bother when it's obvious that they don't give a damn and would rather flake than consider my feelings in it all.

Sorry, I shouldn't rant, but I feel injured, and I'm tired of feeling that way without a good damn reason.

I even bought them a present because I saw something that made me think of them and smile. But since I didn't see them, I couldn't give it to them.

Speaking of presents, Cataragon, I have a present for you dear, one I meant to send with your beloved Spike, and well I was lazy and didn't get around to managing it. But I saw it and new I had to get it for you, I hope you don't have it already. But I need an address for you if I could, so that it can arrive in NZ safely. E-mail it to me if you can.
  • Current Music
    Matchmaker-Fiddler on the Roof


Have you ever noticed that if you are nice to people, they'll be nice back to you.

In the bureaucratic hell hole that is the DMV, I have discovered that if you are a little polite to them, they will fall over backwards to help you. It's kind of creepy. we are constantly talking about how rude, angry, dull, and mean these people are, but I think I've found a whole new side to them, a side that just wants to be loved.

Ahhh, doesn't it make you want to get a teddy bear?

So I went the other day to get my permit renewed. Long line, hot sun, had bicked there from Monrovia, and was all sweaty and tired and it wasn't even eight yet. So I stood in this seemingly interminable line with my nose in a book, until such time I got to go to the table for my turn. The woman asked me what I wanted, I was polite, I gave her my ID, she sent me to fill out the form.

When that was done, I went back to the table to get a number. I waited patiently behind an old woman who was EXTREMELY rude to the worker there, angry over something and threatening to get her son, (this always happens at the DMV), and I smile when I walk up, show her my paper, she gets me a number and then I politely say, thank you very much.

She smiled back. She fairly beemed at me. It was amazing.

After waiting patiently for my form, which I had accidently signed in advance, (you aren't supposed to do that), I go up and explain apologetically what I did. THe woman was very understanding. I smiled, thanked her, did all my transaction, and said, 'thank you, have a nice day'. She seemed shocked and chocked out a response back. Pleased that I was being such a nice person that day, (as my usual demeanor is curmudgeony and your lucky if I acknowlege your existence), I went to take my test. Once again, same results. I briefly considered the implications of this, where I went to go get the permit, and had to listen to yet another angry, older person yelling about extensions and eye doctors.

I wonder if they are just relieved to see someone who isn't senile and angry for a change.

I've decided that if I'm going to take over the world, I will not use threats of invasion and searches for nefarious of mass destruction as an excuse. I shall use a new tactic, it will be called being nice. I will shake hands, smile, and wish people a good day, and would they mind if I took over their country? Really, because I think that their oil wells are so lovely this time of year, what do they do to maintain them like that. And people would never say a word against me, because who can justify to themselves being mean to a nice person, really, except a true asshole. But then I could rally my troops of loyal people i've been nice to for my defense you see. If we used this tactic all the time in world affairs, imagine what we could do with it. Shake hands and smile instead of waving our fallic looking, nuclear weapons around, we could change the world.

But sadly, I think that is to much work for me, I'd much rather just go back home and crawl in bed.
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    Jumble of Empire Record's music...