July 28th, 2003


They are ending my crack...

What am I to do? They are ending my World of Darkness. This is distressing, it's like telling me AFTER I got my PhD that they are no longer studying Ancient Rome in schools. *sigh* Ahh well, there will be gamer dorks a plenty wanting old school WoD. And I will finally get to finish all my city collecting without some new book to contradict me. And I'll at least get half ass answers to all my Gehenna questions. Oh, and do we get to see more of Saulot, cause I want some of my antidelivian crack. Mmmmm, Saulot.

And Bob Hope died this weekend too, I'm so sad. It's weird when fixtures your grandparents grew up with are passing away, it seemed he would never die. But alas, everyone and everything has it's ending.

I just hate endings. I've had enough of them this year, I don't want one more thing to go away, damn it.

I've never liked change, the status quo is my sort of thing. My childhood was rather placid, my teenage years were full of change that I never fully accepted and frankly resented. When someone or something comes in and distrubs that placid universe of mine, I tend to resent and hate that person because this was MY world, and they've been careless enough to stomp through it without caring about how I feel in the matter. It's a child's response almost, a cry against the destruction of security that we've come to rely on in our lives. We don't like it when grandma dies, or when we lose our job, or when our favorite TV show ends because those are familiar things, warm constant things that we hold close and don't want to see change. And yet, they always do.

Aren't we so silly like that. But I really can't help myself. I don't like seeing my world end, and sadly, it's been ruffled and changed so much in the last five-eight years, I have taken the hermits approach. IF I see no one and keep my friendships to a minimum, and see people only when I'm truly DESPERATE for company, than that's one less ripple in my personal happiness.

There have been those I've resented, both with and without cause, for disturbing the placidness of my existance. Perhaps it's hypocrisy in the minds of some, but then they never stop to ask themselves what their reaction would be in the same situation. I tire of watching things I've worked for and people I care for drift away because of the whims of another. At least, if you are going to come stomping though here, take care of the feelings of others, even if what you do will hurt. Try to lesson the pain, don't act indignant about it.

Oh, I'm just rambling, these thoughts are my darker ones, my angstier ones, and I don't like to probe those to much, at least not on a public forum. I might be accused of doing something or saying something I didn't, so best to keep it as impersonal as I can.

Anyway, I'll hate to see my WoD go. I'll miss Bob Hope. And I hate it when my life is changed in great or upsetting sort of ways. I'm sure I am not alone in this, we all do it. *sigh*

Well, they better not take away my Breyer's Ice Cream, I don't think I could cope otherwise.
  • Current Music
    The theme song for "Pulp Fiction"

Sitting on the line on this one...


Well, this article interested me, not because of it's content, but the fact I couldn't make up my mind to be for or against it. It's rare that an issue gets me this befuddled, but still, it was interesting, so I thought I'd write about it.

At first, I thought have a school catering to gays, homosexuals, and transgenders might be a great idea. After all, high school, especially urban high schools, are brutal places. If you are percieved as different, odd, or a freak, your life can be made a living hell. It's hard enough being a teenager but being gay besides is no picnic. And then to be in mortal fear of you life and unable to gain the basic education you are entitled to because of the callous cruelty of other youth isn't fair. I think it's a great idea to have a seperate, safe environment, so that homosexuals can feel less threatened and learn.

Then, I realized that sounded a bit...odd. Nearly hypocritical, coming from a girl who supports desegregated schools, equal education to students no matter their disability, same chances for boy and girls to excel, yadda, yadda, yadda. Why should homoswexual teenagers be kept seperate from 'straight' teenagers just because they don't have the same sexual preferances. Granted, I'm sure this school is good and offeres them as good if not better opportunities as the public school, but what if this is setting a bad precident. What if we are saying it's ok to seperate 'those' people, (and I hate that term), because they are different and it's for their own good. That's the same excuse they used in the South for years, 'seperate, but equal'. What if someday they aren't equal? What if we encourage public perception to think of them as 'those people'?

I know, I know, the kids have a choice to go here, it's probably good for them, but you see why I am a little on the fence on this one? I don't know whether to be for it or against it. And I suppose at the moment, it doesn't matter. But in the future, it might. So it's at least a question to have in the back of my mind.

Ooopppsss, nearly made a typo there and said segregated. That would be bad. Stupid prefixes.
  • Current Music
    Some weird No Doubt song.