July 18th, 2003


Just like Jesse James...

So I was coming home with one of my classmates last night and discussing what shows we like. I mentioned I'm rather hooked on this show called "American Chopper", (it's on the Discovery Channel for all you who don't watch anything that doesn't have a three letter logo), and she tells me that she knows the guy who owns West Coast Chopppes. Confused for a moment, I sort of mumble, "You know Jesse James?" Yes, I watch "Monster Garage" too, mainly because it's mindless, and also because it's on before "American Chopper". She says yes, and tells me all about Mr. James, his divorce, the childish behavior of both he and his ex-wife, and all the things that make me realizse, "Oh God, he sounds like guys I knew growing up in Missouri." And I laugh, because in the end he's just a dorky fabricator who got his own show, but still it was odd knowing that this person thought of this strange, television personality as just some guy who drank to much beer one night and puked in her toilet. LOL While it makes sense, it's still...disquieting.

Despite my infatuation with David Duchovny, (who's picture still graces my desk at work), I've never really been infatuated with 'stars'. I've lived in LA 4 years, and not once have I gone to a premier, and awards show, crashed the set of some major production just to meet someone famous. Personally, I don't care. It's cool that they are famous, some of them I admire, but in reality, I have better things to do with my time than stalking someone who happened to make it lucky enough to be seen on national television. But I live in LA. You can't throw a rock out here without hitting someone who knows someone who hangs out with Tom Cruise on the golf course. It's not a big deal really, people don't CARE that you are best buddies with Brad and Jennifer, you just scratched the paint on their Beemer. Stardom isn't a big deal out here I suppose.

But I'm still very much a Midwestern girl at heart. It's a little...odd to say the least that I talk to people who knew these 'icons of popular culture' when they were still dorky kids with braces and bad hair cuts. I knew lots of people like that growing up, none of them ever had television shows. It creates some weird paradox in my mind, as if my logical brain can't quite compute what they are telling me. I'd rather think of these people as distant, far away, rich and famous people who have no bearing on my life. If you start telling me they were goobers growing up, then I can't just ignore them, I have to think about them as...*gasp* HUMAN! I'd much rather ignore them.

So Jesse is a goober, sadly I kind of figured that from the show. But it was kind of funny hearing the stories from Chardel. I'm glad I know no one famous, really. Cause I'd be the first person who'd be walking up to strangers in the street going..."Yeah, so you want to hear the story of when they drank TOOO much Jose Cuervo. See, you have to understand, there was a donkey involved in this party..."

I'd make SUCH a bad celebrity buddy.
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The French really are ridiculous...


OK you Frogs. I stood up for you when America was talking trash about France. I said it was silly and childish to rename things 'Freedom Fries' and 'Freedom Toast' from 'French fries' and 'French toast', (even though I still don't know why those items are neccessarily 'french'. I bought french cheese, I encouraged buying French wine, I thought all this was all rather silly on my countries part for a difference of opinion. But now, how in the world can I keep on standing up for you?

I admit it, I hate French as a language. I hate it intensely. Of all the Latin based languages, it's the one I refuse to learn. Of course, I'll use the rare phrases that have seeped into the American linguistics melting pot, but after six weeks of trying to understand why half a word wasn't even pronounced and the difference between foods that are salty and foods that are sweet, I gave up. I much prefer Spanich, Latin, and Italian to this weird, bastardized, Gaulish mess you all call French. And it's supposed to be this linguistics jewel. Personally, I'd rather have a boiling oil enima, (sorry Quentin love, I hate your language).

But above and beyond all that is the SHEER haughtiness of those who speak the French langauge. You are so insane about a language that sucks in the first place that you want to keep all foriegn influence in it out. So you wish to make up a completely nonsense word that no 20-year-old, net savvy Parisian is going to use to PROVE that you will not have English invade your precious language. Besides the fact it's silly, it's also tends to make you look...well, like asses. Seriously, I don't see Russians and German's making a big deal over the use of terms such as 'e-mail' 'net', or any of the other linguistic mumbo jumbo that has come out of the advent of the World Wide Web. First of all they aren't even really English terms, merely bastardizations that scientists use because they are weird and like making up new words in the first place. And second of all, why should it matter what language it comes from, it's the one language that everyone can understand, the language of the techno-dork. Seriously, some kid in Japan will not understand this new French term for e-mail, but you plaster E-MAIL on a huge sign, they know exactly what you are talking about.

I'm sorry, to you linguists out there, this may make sense to you, I'm not a linguist. I studied Spanish in school, I don't speak it. I learned Latin and Italian for music, don't speak those either, (despite the fact I'm taking Latin in school next semester, God help me with that, gah!). I don't even like speaking my own language well. It's pointless. Perhaps I'm just too American. America, where English is a fluid language, where our language is sprinkled with thousands of colloquialisms and food items from foriegn countries all over the world. Perhaps I'm just too American to get this idea of 'linguistic purity', just like I'm too Protestant to understand Judiasm. It seems rather silly, pointless, and completely backwards to me.

But then again, so does a tractor pull. Still doesn't mean people aren't fanatic about it.

I guess the long and the short of it all is that in this day and age when we are blurring some of the edges of some cultural identity and at the same time building stronger barriers between others, I think it's rather silly to quibble over something as childish as the world 'e-mail'. I doubt it will make a big deal to the average Frenchman. But really, France, worry more about the more important things, rather than over a silly, nonsensical English word getting into your language.

And next time somone uses the term "freedom fries" I swear to God I'll kick them.
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