July 16th, 2003


Every good woman needs a gay man...

So I was watching that new show "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" last night. I've discovered two things, a) I can't like shows on 'normal' television, and b) I really like weird shows. Anywho, this one was great, if you don't know the concept, five gay men make over one straight guy. It seemed really successful too, these poor schmucks were in a dire need of a more...tasteful touch. Besides, the beauty of having gay men make over straight men, is that despite all their sexual preferences, in the end they are just guys, and they still seem to bond on some weird, strange level that us women just can not fathom. So I guess I can't blame it on the football.

I have this running theory though that all good women, whatever their sexual orientation, need a good gay man in their life. It's true. Straight women, gay women, women who don't care, they all say the same thing. Gay men make the best buddies to have around, even if they aren't particularly effeminent. I have gay male friends who aren't in the least bit effeminent. But I can get along with them so much easier than with a heterosexual male.

Here's why every good woman needs a gay man:
a) They are ten times more fun to party with. They know the best clubs, mingle with lots of people, and they aren't afraid to drink girly drinks with you, (though personally, I don't like girlie drinks to much).

b) They are invaluable aids in spotting hot men, and are suprisingly frank about male sexuality.

c) Are much more open and affectionate emotionally...other than just anger that is. They are huggable. LOL

d) They are the perfect person to go cry to when some man in your life as been an ass. Girls tend to gang up against the make figures, gay men tend to approach the situation their friend is in so much more rationally, perhaps it's cause their men.

While I realize this isn't the norm for EVERY gay man, the ones I've run across have tended to follow this trend. (Not to offend anyone who happens across this, ok) Still, I what woman in America doesn't know a gay man they can't relate to? My mother LOVED Richard Chamberlin for years, and he was gay. Oh wait, maybe she lusted after him. Hmmmm....oh well.

There should be some sort of group of gay men out there to be a counseling service to all discouraged women. I think it's a brilliant plan. While we may never get a chance to sleep with them, they would definetly boost our egos, which heterosexual men tend to bruise far to often. It's a mental reminder that not all men are beasts. I'd hate to think that the good ones were all gay though, makes my future relationship possibilities look worse than they already are.
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Is illness so deserving?


Now, let me preface this by saying that I think it's horrible to have a life threatening disease, even worse when you are a kid. I appreciate the things that people do to make the life of a terminally ill child or adult a little better, those people are truly wonderful people. So do not take this commentary as a criticism of the things that are done for those that are ill.

In reading this article on "The Leaky Cauldon", (go see it if you are a HP fan), I thought it was rather sweet. A sick 17 year old gets to go to England and hang out on the set for the next Harry Potter film, "THe Prisoner of Azkaban". Nice thing to do for a sick kid, great publicity for Warner Brothers, everyone wins all the way around.

What disturbed me was the comment at the end of the article, where someone states that they are glad that the girl got to do this, and she really "DESERVED" this special chance at going to the film set.

Hmmmm....I know it's a matter of semantics, but it's the word 'deserves' that bugs me.

What about a life threatening illness makes anyone more deserving than another? I agree, the nature of the illness and what it does to a persons moral, let alone shortening their life and their capabilities, that's not a fair thing, and hence why I'm for programs that grant ill kids their wish. But does it make them MORE deserving than the average person? I would like to disagree on this point.

Say we have two kids, kid A is terminally ill with a rare form of blood disease. Kid B is a Hispanic child from East LA who's father is gone and who's mother works two jobs and lives on welfare just to survive. Let's just say that by some weird coincedence they both have the same dream, to go to the set of their favorite movie and meet all the stars. Kid A, the terminally ill one, gets a chance to go because some foundation somewhere is kind enough to pay for their way. But Kid B gets no chance to do any such thing, as there is nothing outstanding about this kid outside of the fact that they are poor. They aren't sick, why should anyone pay attention to their dreams?

See where the dichotomy lays here? We say that the sick kid deserves it because fate has struck them down with a terrible disease. We say that the poor kid doesn't deserve it because happenstance has stuck them where they are. Is the second kid EQUALLY as deserving of having a chance at living out their dreams. Certainly. But no one bothers to say that they deserve it.

When it comes down to it, both kids deserve the chance, whether they be ill or poor or whatever. The fact that we feel that a child who is ill is more deserving because they are ill seems a little wrong to me. What about the child who is starving, or is abused, or is neglected? Hell, what about the child who has a perfectly normal, happy childhood. Are the suddenly undeserving just because they happened to be born with a few more legs up in life than everyone else? I don't like the use of this word 'deserving', it puts a false emotional attatchment to something nice someone did for someone else.

This child was no more deserving than any other child. But they were more ill than any other child, and they could have used something nice to happen to them for a change. So some nice fondation arranged it for them, and that's what it really was. I'm glad this kid got to live out her dreams, good for her, and I'm glad someone was nice enough to do it for her. Boy, I wish some foundation would come along and do that for me. But to say that she's more deserving because she is ill, I feel that's almost a fallacy. Her illness helped her fit the criteria the foundation was looking for, and it also limited the opportunities that she would have to get a chance at this, but every child should be allowed to live out their dreams, be it her, a poor kid in LA, or a middle class kid in the suburbs. Do not confuse an act of good will, (which this was), with a persons fitness to have something good happen to them. It's a major flaw of our Puritanical-based society, one that tends to drive me to distraction.

Sorry, semantics tend to irritate me at times.
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    "Baby You Can Drive My Car" The Beatles