July 14th, 2003


Why gamer dorks will rule the world.

You know them. You may have even associated with them in high school. For all I know, you could be one. But they are out there, a silent underground beneath the placid norm of middle class society, growing like a cancer, living in their own secret world of strange occult knowledge and dark mysteries. You've heard it in whispers, your parents warned you about being around 'those people'. And yet...they are always around you, sometimes hiding as perfectly normal, rational human beings.

You know of what I speak of. I refer to the silent population of gamer dorks.

Yes, we are out there. We are the elf loving, vampire fang wearing, dice throwing, membership card carrying members of the "you are officially a geek" society. We are the people you see in gaming shops and comic book stores, those weirdos that hang out in those odd chat rooms you've accidently stumbled into late at night. We are the kids dressed in black who hang out at the local park, playing "Rock, Paper, Scissors", and yes, we are even the kids with our nose stuck in some AD&D guide, muttering about levels and numbers. You may have thought us odd, and you would be right. We are really odd. But know this, we will be ruling the world someday when all the rest of society is lossed in it's haze of Disney, McDonald's, and bad reality television. They are creatures of keen insight, of great intellegence, can understand the worlds of history and politics as keenly as any graduate student fresh out of their thesis review.

If only they would learn to take a bath once in a while.

I say this being a gamer dork. I know first had what these people can do. I've seen them set up and tear apart entire world altering political structures in a single conversation on a park bench. They have climbed through the chains of power of a large beaucracy with the ease of scaling a set of monkey bars, and have managed to come out of it successful and unscathed. In the imaginary worlds in which they live, they have upset the power structure with a simple action, and have come out the victors in the end, these people have a wit and cunning that is completely uncultivated, but there to be molded and used.

And yet we snicker at them because they live in the land of make believe.

Well, I ask, is it more interesting to live in a land of make believe where their intellect can accomplish great things, or to live in a land where the highest form of human mental contest is to throw them into some random, producer created situation, and then film what they do with it, showing only the best parts for TV? Gee, I think I know which one I'd pick.

OK, so maybe RPG's are just someones great idea to keep these people out of the way and occupied, while others who are willing to keep the rest of the less intellegent populace sedate with bad television gain power. But you see, they will get old and die eventually. And who will be the only people with half a brain to follow suit.

Gamer dorks will rule the world. Remember that next time you laugh at the kid with the D&D shirt on at school, he could be your emperor someday.